Why We Must Not Speak Ill of the Dead: The Teaching of Maria Simma

Do not speak ill of the dead according to Maria Simma

In every season of the year—especially around All Souls’ Day—the Church teaches us to see death not as a wall but as a threshold.The remembrance of our loved ones is not nostalgia; it is an act of faith in the communion of saints, which unites the living and the dead in Christ.

Within this light, the teaching of Maria Simma—the Austrian mystic known for her deep charity toward the souls in Purgatory—confronts us with a message as simple as it is decisive: “Do not speak ill of the dead.”

It is not an invitation to complicit silence or polite restraint. It is a spiritual orientation that touches the heart of the Gospel—the mystery of mercy and the power of the tongue, that small “member” capable of wounding or healing, condemning or setting free (cf. James 3).

In this article, we will explore why we must not speak ill of the dead according to Maria Simma, what happens when we do, how to distinguish truth from gossip, and which concrete attitudes can transform remembrance into an act of charity for those who have gone before us.

Do not speak ill of the dead

Who Was Maria Simma—and Why Listen to Her

Maria Simma (1915–2004) lived in Austria and is known for her particular mission of assisting the souls in Purgatory. Her life, marked by poverty, prayer, and obedience to the Church, was filled with testimonies of souls asking her for suffrages—Masses, prayers, acts of charity.

What stands out is the consistency of her message with Catholic teaching on Purgatory: the urgency of charity, the seriousness of sin, human freedom, and the infinite mercy of God.

A recurring theme in her reflections is the use of the tongue—among the first instruments of both love and injustice. Calumny, gossip, rash judgment do not end with a person’s death; they can continue to wound communion. Therefore, says Maria Simma, speaking ill of the dead is an act against charity and a scandal against hope.

The Spiritual Damage of Speaking Ill of the Dead

1. It Wounds the Communion of Saints

The communion of saints is not poetic metaphor—it is real. In Christ, the Church is one family: pilgrim on earth, purified in Purgatory, glorified in Heaven.When we speak ill of the dead, we break that communion; we cut the thread of charity with words that can no longer be repaired face to face. If I wound a living person, I can ask forgiveness; if I wound a deceased soul, my words remain a sterile echo that divides rather than builds.

2. It Increases the Weight of Purification

According to Maria Simma, purification is not only shaped by the evil done in life, but also by the evil that others continue to commit “upon us” after death—damaged reputation, spread of suspicion, malicious interpretation.This is not about shifting blame: the soul stands before God in truth. But the climate of malice we create can hinder the charity of the Church toward that person, weaken suffrages, and discourage prayer. In short: speaking ill helps neither the dead nor the living.

3. It Hardens the Heart

Every word we utter shapes us. A murmuring tongue soon becomes an interior language of suspicion; suspicion becomes a habit of the heart. Speaking ill of the dead trains us to speak ill of everyone. It is the opposite of the Eucharist, which unites; gossip scatters.Maria Simma insists: those who help the souls in Purgatory learn mercy and receive graces of peace; those who judge and slander grow harsh and lose the sweetness of faith.

Scripture and Tradition: Why the Gospel Commands Us to Guard the Tongue

Scripture is severe regarding the tongue:“With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse those made in God’s likeness… My brothers, this must not be so!” (James 3:9–10).Jesus warns: “Judge not, that you be not judged” (Matthew 7:1); and again: “On the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak” (Matthew 12:36).

Concerning the dead, the Church proclaims the goodness of suffrage (2 Maccabees 12:44–45): to pray for them is “a good and holy thing.”Tradition has passed down the spiritual works of mercy, including “forgive offenses,” “bear wrongs patiently,” and “pray for the living and the dead.”Speaking ill of the dead contradicts at least three of these works—because it does not forgive, it does not endure, it does not pray.

Truth and Charity: Distinguishing Remembrance from Gossip

Can we speak truthfully about a deceased person who has done wrong?In the Christian view, the answer is twofold:

• Truth must not be denied: evil is evil and sometimes must be named, especially for justice, reparation, or protection of the weak. The Church never calls us to cover up truth.

• Charity must not be suspended: even when truth must be spoken, it should be done with sobriety, right intention, and respect. No malicious tone, no judgment of hearts, no morbid details. We speak to edify, not to savor another’s fall.

Maria Simma does not ask us to erase memory but to purify it—so that truth never becomes a weapon, and justice never turns into revenge.

The Human Dimension: Grief, Meaning, and the Temptation of Gossip

From a human perspective, speaking ill of the dead often arises from unhealed pain: unspoken words, unresolved guilt, family conflicts.Gossip feels like a quick release, giving us the illusion of control over the past. In reality, it deepens the wound, freezing it in bitterness.

The Gospel proposes another way: name the evil before God, forgive where possible, repair where needed, pray for the peace of the departed and for your own healing.Christian mourning does not erase—it transfigures. Turning the story of a deceased person from accusation into intercession is already healing.

What Happens When We Bless the Dead

According to Maria Simma’s experience, every act of charity toward the souls in Purgatory—a Mass, a rosary, an almsgiving, a hidden act of love—is like fresh water on burning thirst.This charity mysteriously returns to us: the souls we help become intercessors in our struggles, lights in our discernment, peace in our relationships.

To bless a deceased person is not to pretend that everything was perfect; it is to choose that the last word over that story be not our accusation, but God’s mercy.

Practical Guidelines: How to Guard the Tongue Toward the Dead

1. Examination of Speech

Before speaking, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it charitable?If even one answer is no, keep silent—or turn the thought into prayer.

2. Repair the Words

If you have spoken ill, ask God’s forgiveness and, where possible, correct the harm.Offer a Mass, rosary, or act of charity for that soul.

3. Educate Memory

Write a letter of the heart to the deceased if needed: name the pain, pronounce forgiveness, entrust to God.Replace the bitter story with a blessing: “Lord, grant N. Your peace, and give me a new heart.”

4. Discern When to Speak

If truth must be told to protect others, speak to proper authorities and in appropriate contexts—never on social platforms or out of resentment.

Prayer and Suffrages: The Catholic Way of Concrete Charity

The Church teaches that suffrages truly help the dead.Examples:

• A Holy Mass offered for the deceased (the most effective suffrage).

• Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet.

• Visit to the cemetery with prayer, especially in early November.

• Indulgences under the usual conditions (confession, communion, prayer for the Pope, detachment from sin).

• Acts of charity in memory of the deceased.

These do not replace justice; they transcend it with mercy and rebuild memory according to the Gospel.

Difficult Cases: When the Deceased Did Harm

Charity does not mean minimizing abuse or evil.

• Name the wrong clearly—never normalize it.

• Seek justice if it serves the living.

• Avoid sensationalism, speculation, and public shaming.

• Entrust the soul to God: “Lord, You alone know. I choose not to hate.”

• Care for victims with human and spiritual accompaniment.

True charity is not naive—it is strong, able to tell the truth without destroying hope.

A Simple Prayer (For Those Who Have Spoken Ill of the Dead)

Lord Jesus, Truth and Mercy,I have misused my tongue and wounded the communion of saints.Forgive the words that judged and harmed.I entrust to You all the souls I have spoken of without charity.Grant them light and peace.Give me a new heart and a tongue that blesses.Amen.

The Tongue That Blesses

Maria Simma’s teaching coincides with the heart of the Gospel: the Christian tongue is meant to bless.To speak well of the dead—or remain silent when we cannot—is not hypocrisy but faith: faith that God is greater than our hearts (1 John 3:20), and that mercy can resurrect even the stories we believed lost.

If we truly wish to help those who have gone before us, let us stop accusing and start interceding.Thus memory becomes mercy, and remembrance turns into hope.And if all must be summed up in one phrase, it would be our key message:Do not speak ill of the dead according to Maria Simma—because charity does not end with death, and truth without love builds nothing that lasts.